Too Sexy For a Shirt
by TheArchives
Summary: Complete. Various incidents involving the guys without their shirts on...and the girls around to appreciate it! Various pairings, all het. At last, number 10: Orochimaru gets a blind date with...?
1. Sakura and Lee!

**Too Sexy For A Shirt **– 1  
By: Clever Audrey  
Disclaimer: I do not own; if I did, I'd have stolen at least one of the boys long before now.  
Warnings: Nothing much, a little kissing.  
AN: I decided it was time to give some of the other boys (and girls) some love. ;)

* * *

"Where is that boy?" Sakura grumbled to herself, walking faster along the forest path. 

_The same place he always is when he's not sleeping or with you, _Inner Sakura grumbled along, _the training grounds._

The pink-haired teen sighed, knowing that her inner voice was correct. She loved her boyfriend dearly – Rock Lee was thesweetest man she'd ever met – but at times his habits could be a nuisance. Not that she _really_ minded all that much…Sakura smiled fondly as she got within sight of the clearing where Lee always trained.

"One thousand eight hundred sixty seven, one thousand eight hundred sixty eight, one thousand eight hundred sixty nine…." His voice reached her first as she passed the last trees into the open space. He paused in his push-ups as soon as he saw her, and stood up, bowing politely to her as he always did.

"Sakura!"

"Lee, I've been looking for you. Hokage-sama wants you to-" Sakura stopped abruptly as she got a good look at him.

Lee had no shirt on.

Today was one of those rare days when he discarded the nearly-ubiquitous bodysuit in favor of loose pants and a normal shirt. And, given how hot it was out today, it was not all that surprising that he would discard the shirt as his workout progressed.

Lee was _very_ well built. Not surprising in the village's most dedicated taijutsu practitioner, but one rarely saw him without a shirt on to emphasize it.

Sakura felt quite a bit warmer than she had a minute ago, and she didn't think it had much to do with the weather. _Hell yeah!_ Inner Sakura cheered, ogling shamelessly.

"Sakura?" Lee questioned uncertainly. Realizing that she had been staring at him, Sakura raised her light green eyes to meet his black. He blinked, confused, when she started purposefully toward him, a small smile on her face. "About the Hokage…did she need me…?"

Sakura ran her hands appreciatively up his bare chest and hooked them over his shoulders. "The Hokagecan wait," she murmured, tilting her face up to him.

Understanding dawned in Lee's eyes, and he smiled, leaning down to meet her lips with his. "If you say so, Sakura."

_I really need to get him out of those body suits,_ Inner Sakura was coherent enough to think. She grinned wickedly. _Because then I can get him out of his shirt more often…and that would definitely be a good thing!_

Owari.

_

* * *

_AN: I _really_ want to see Lee without a shirt on. -drools- Anyway. -cough- Don't know when the next of these will be up, but hopefully it won't take me too long. :) 


	2. Temari and Shikamaru!

**Too Sexy for a Shirt – 2  
**By: Clever Audrey  
Disclaimer: I do not own.  
Warnings: Randomness?  
AN: This one's a bit strange, but it works, I think. :)

* * *

Temari had not been surprised when Shikamaru showed up in Sand one hot (how unusual!) afternoon. He was Konoha's ambassador, after all, and they'd been told to expect him sometime that week.

She _was_ surprised, however, to see him dressed up like a tourist in khaki shorts, hiking boots, the loudest Hawaiian print shirt she'd ever laid eyes on, and a camera slung around his neck.

She raised an eyebrow at Konoha's laziest and smartest chuunin, who returned the gesture with a bored look.

"Ino," he said by way of explanation, gesturing at the camera. "She wants me to take pictures of the landmarks while I'm here. Apparently I ought to know 'where all the interesting stuff' is because I've been here a few times. Then Hokage-sama saw the camera and 'suggested' that I travel disguised as a tourist." He sighed forlornly. "It was too troublesome to argue about it."

Temari hid a grin and gestured for him to follow her further into the village.

They hadn't gone more than a few blocks, though, before they were suddenly surrounded by a crowd of children, all chattering and pointing excitedly at Shikamaru's shirt.

"Ooo! Look at all the colors!"

"Mister, mister, where'd you get that shirt?"

"It's so bright!"

"I wanna touch it!"

"Let me see too!"

"No, me first!"

There ensued a small shoving match, which Shikamaru eyed with growing alarm.

"What is this?" He asked Temari, blinking at the small throng.

Temari grinned. "We don't have many bright colors here. On buildings, they're scoured away by the blowing sand too quickly to be worth the effort, and bright clothing is hard to hide on a desert. Some of these kids have probably never seen anything as colorful as your shirt, except in pictures."

"Oh. Well, then, they can- Hey!" A pecking order apparently having been established, the children were now taking turns coming forward to touch and poke and prod at the eye-smarting shirt. Shikamaru tried to back away, only to find himself surrounded by more small hands from behind. "Hey!"

Temari snickered.

Shikamaru tried to glare at her, but couldn't quite summon up enough energy to make it a proper glare. He settled for annoyed, and quickly removed his pack and the camera from around his neck, tossing them to her. Temari caught both items, surprised, and then watched with even more amusement as Shikamaru struggled with all the kids for control of the shirt so he could unbutton it.

At last, he succeeded, and tossed the shirt away. The children followed the shirt, as he had suspected, and he raised a relieved hand to wipe the sweat off his forehead.

Temari had had a long-standing suspicion that Shikamaru was not quite as lazy a ninja as he pretended to be. The removal of his shirt had just proved her correct – he would not be _nearly_ that well-built if he were half as lazy as he claimed he was.

At the moment, however, she was more interested in appreciating the sight than analyzing it. Plenty of time for that later.

_I don't think I've ever seen him shirtless before, _she mused – and then suddenly remembered that she was holding a camera.

Click!

Shikamaru turned to her with a peeved expression when he realized what she had just done.

"Stop that! And give me my pack – I'm not walking around this godforsaken desert without clothing. I'll turn red as a lobster in about five minutes." Temari tossed him the bag, and watched with some disappointment as he got out another (normal) shirt and pulled it on. That done, he shouldered the pack and looked at her expectantly. (He seemed to have forgotten about the camera, which suited her just fine. He was probably glad to be rid of it anyway.) She nodded, and they continued their walk.

_Oh well,_ she thought, subtly surveying his now-covered back with resigned good-will. _At least I've got a picture of him without a shirt on._ The thought caused her to grin again, which made Shikamaru nervous, though he did not comment.

_Maybe someday I can talk him out of it again.

* * *

_

AN: Hehe...more sexy boys with no shirts on. ;D For those of you who are shounen-ai fans, shirtless!Sasuke and Naruto are more likely to be found in some of our other stories. :) Just my fave het pairings here.  
Up next: TenTen and Neji!


	3. TenTen and Neji!

**Too Sexy for a Shirt – 3**  
By: Clever Audrey  
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any characters portrayed therein...damn.  
Warnings: Kissy-kissy and (very) implied sex  
AN: Number three!

* * *

TenTen was annoyed. 

_Where is he? He's not with Gai-sensei, he's not at the Hyuugas'…he ought to have been back from that mission by now! Why wouldn't he have reported straight to Hokage-sama anyway?_ She huffed, trying not to stomp as she hurried through the busy Konoha streets. _The only other place he might be is the apartment. _

Neji had rented his own apartment out in the city proper some months ago, saying that despite his improved relations with the rest of his family, he sometimes preferred to have more personal space than the Hyuuga compound allowed. TenTen was one of the few people who knew where it was, and then only because they still trained together regularly.

_Though I _wish_ I knew where it was for other reasons…_the kunoichi sighed and shook her head. It had taken her some years to realize that she had a crush (and a rather bad one) on her teammate at all – she'd been so focused on training before then that it hadn't occurred to her that she might like a guy (especially Neji) that way.

Not that knowing about it had made it any easier to deal with; in fact, quite the opposite since Neji, as far as she could tell, did not share her feelings.

_Of course, he'll probably have to marry someone Hyuuga-sama decides is best for him, anyway,_ TenTen thought, feeling sorry for her friend. Quite aside from her personal interest in the situation, the brunette thought that an arranged marriage sounded terrible. _Oh well. At least we can spend some time together._

Reaching the small, top floor apartment, she reached out and knocked briskly on the door, her earlier annoyance returning as she remembered her long search.

Her annoyance was forgotten very quickly as soon as the door opened.

Neji stood in the door, calm as ever, wearing a towel around his waist…and nothing else.

Apparently he had just finished a shower; his long hair was damp and completely unbound, hanging around his face and dripping water onto his chest and arms. The droplets sparkled in the evening sunlight as the ran slowly down the well-defined outlines of his muscles, trailing down his stomach to disappear under the edge of the towel…

"TenTen?"

His deep, smooth voice brought her back to herself with a start; she realized that she had been staring at him, wide-eyed, and she couldn't stop a blush as she averted her eyes.

"Neji," she said, trying not to sound as breathless as she felt, "Hokage-sama wondered why you hadn't reported in yet…"

"I was rather dirty, and since the report was not urgent, I thought that she would probably appreciate my cleaning up first."

"I see," TenTen looked back up at him, feeling her control return, "in that case, I should-"

"And apparently Hokage-sama will not be the only one appreciating the fact that I have showered," he continued quietly as though she hadn't spoken, voice obviously tinged with amusement.

So much for control. She flushed deeply again, but couldn't look away from his strange, beautiful eyes. He could see right through her anyway….

"I- I apologize, Neji. I'll-"

"I don't recall saying that it bothered me."

TenTen felt her own brown eyes widen at that. Was he saying what she thought he was?

The kiss he gave her as soon as she was inside and the door was closed seemed to indicate that he was.

_Oh…screw the Hyuugas, _she thought irreverently. _And screw the Hokage. If he can kiss like this…I'm not giving him up for anything!_

Much later, she repeated this sentiment out loud to Neji. The pale-eyed jounin chuckled, kissed her again, and said that he agreed completely.

_Which,_ TenTen thought with sleepy anticipation, _means I'll get to see him shirtless whenever I want!_

* * *

AN: Wet!Neji...yummmmm. ;P Not sure who's next...maybe Hinata and Kiba. 


	4. Hinata and Kiba!

**Too Sexy for a Shirt – 4**  
By: Clever Audrey  
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it.  
Warnings: Fluff

AN: I know that a lot of people would have preferred NaruHina for this one. I have no problems with that pairing as such, but it is not one that I write. I do hope you'll enjoy this one anyway, though. :)

* * *

"Rarf!" Akamaru's impatient bark outside let Hinata know that Kiba was here. Pulling on shorts and a light shirt over her bathing suit, she hurried to the door.

"Ready?" Kiba grinned at her, absently petting Akamaru's head (the dog now reached Kiba's hips when standing) and bowed jokingly. "Shall we?" Hinata nodded, blushing at the bow and smiling shyly at him. They were going to a beach today, at a large lake not too far from the village. It was a particularly hot summer, even for Fire Country, and everyone was spending all of their off-duty time trying to keep cool. Kiba had called her yesterday evening and suggested an outing to the beach, and she had readily agreed.

Hinata eyed her teammate and friend surreptitiously as they walked along. Kiba had also discarded his usual jacket for a light t-shirt in the heat, and his brown hair was darker and spikier than usual, sweat-damp and hanging around his face.

They weren't dating yet, not in a proper sense of the word, but they had been inching closer to it for some months now. Although she had become much more assertive in many areas of her life, personal relationships remained a largely unknown territory. She was still too shy to tell Kiba out-right that she would like to make their relationship more official, and he was too polite (despite his often brash manner) to push when he wasn't sure how she felt.

Hinata sighed, making sure that Kiba didn't catch the small noise. She listened with half an ear as he chatted on about various happenings in the village, and thought about what Naruto might do in her situation.

_That isn't hard to figure out,_ she thought, almost smiling at the thought. Her admiration for the loud, blond shinobi was undiminished, though her crush for him had faded as she had gotten to know her own teammate better. _He would probably just turn to whoever he likes and hug them or kiss them and tell them straight out._

A sideways glance at Kiba told her that she didn't quite have the courage to do that yet.

Hinata sighed again, and paid more attention to what Kiba was actually saying, petting Akamaru's head automatically when he began to trot between them. Though Konoha's Number One Ninja at Surprising People was still a frequent and powerful inspiration for her to overcome her lingering shyness, it appeared that this was one area where that inspiration was going to take time.

_Kiba has been good about that, too, though,_ Hinata thought, smiling at him again. _Not so much as Naruto, but he always has and continues to encourage me, in his own way._ Both of her teammates had always cared for and looked after her, pretty much since they'd been assigned together, but Kiba in particular had cheered her on.

Kiba returned her smile with a toothy grin, and then brightened as he looked forward. "Ah, look, Hinata! We're almost there!"

Indeed, up ahead beyond a thin screen of trees the beach could be seen. It was fairly crowded, and Hinata firmly pushed aside any slight fear at being seen in just her bathing suit. In some things, at least, she could overcome her shyness.

They chose a patch of sand nearer to the trees, where they could spread their beach towels out in at least a little bit of shade. Hinata paused then to remove her shirt and shorts, fighting a blush against Kiba's badly-concealed appreciative look for her swimsuit. He was about to take off his own shirt, when Akamaru decided to be mischievous and stole one of his master's sandals, dashing off for the water with it.

"Oi! Akamaru! Get back here!" Kiba took off after his dog, leaving a softly giggling Hinata behind. She followed more slowly, threading her way carefully through the many beachgoers.

Kiba met her at the water line, having recovered his shoe and given his grinning dog a thorough dunking. His own shirt was soaked, and he peeled it off with a sigh and an annoyed look for his dog. "I wanted the shirt to stay dry…stupid mutt…."

Akamaru just barked in his version of laughter.

Hinata felt her face heat up. _H-He's very well-built…_was the only coherent thought she could seem to get out without stuttering even in her head.

_"Do your best, Hinata!"_ Naruto's voice came back to her abruptly, and she swallowed hard, unable to take her eyes off of Kiba's damp chest. The other teen did not seem to have noticed her gaze, as he was too busy razzing Akamaru.

_Oh, why not?_ Hinata finally thought, exasperated. _It's now or never!_ "K-Kiba?"

"Yeah?" He turned back to her, a smile immediately lighting his face.

"W-Will you go out with me?" Hinata was sure her face was as red as a tomato, but her voice remained mostly steady.

The look on Kiba's face, an odd mixture of shock and elation, was enough to make her giggle. Feeling even more confident, she stepped forward and slid her arms around his neck. Still shocked, Kiba raised his own arms to hold her as well, and Hinata let out the breath she had been holding in a happy sigh.

"Heh. Guess I was supposed to ask you that, but it's all good." Kiba drew back and grinned at her not-quite-so-shy smile and blush. "Of course!"

"Thank you," Hinata murmured, hugging him again.

_And thank you, Naruto-kun, for letting me borrow your title for a moment,_ the pale-eyed girl thought. _I can see why you like being the Number One Ninja at Surprising People._

She hadn't realized that Kiba had drawn away until he caught her hand and tugged her gently towards the water, grinning. She smiled back, and followed her boyfriend happily out into the lake to play.

* * *

AN: Well, there you have it. More cute than sexy, I suppose, but that's all right. I'm not sure who's next...maybe Ino and Chouji. We'll see. :)  
Thanks for all the lovely reviews! 


	5. Ino and Chouji!

**Too Sexy for a Shirt – 5**  
By: Clever Audrey  
Disclaimer: Naruto (and any of the other characters or settings described herein) do not belong to me.  
Warnings: Small kiss...if that really needs a warning.  
AN: At last! An update! Pardon the delay, I have been working on other things. :) Enjoy!

* * *

Ino sighed and laid down her hammer to wipe sweat off her forehead. She was tired, but a quick survey of the room around her indicated that they were making progress. Grinning, she went in search of her fiancée. 

Chouji was in the next room over, sanding out the last corner of the floor. Ino stopped in the doorway to watch him, an appreciative smile creeping onto her face when she realized that he had discarded his shirt in the hot room.

_Though why we chose to do this in the summer is beyond me…_Ino sighed. She and her soon-to-be husband were fixing up an old apartment they had bought very cheaply, and were hoping to have it finished before their wedding this coming fall. It was hot work, but at least they were almost done for today, and the sun was starting to go down. They had plans to wash up, and then meet again for dinner and possibly catching movie after that.

Ino wondered how she could possibly have been silly enough to disregard Chouji merely because he was large. His run-in with the Sound-nin years ago and ensuing hospitalization when he lay near death had opened her eyes to a lot of things…including how much she would miss her teammate if he were gone.

After that, it had been a slow but steady process of realization, until she reached the point where she could accept his shy, tentative offer of a date with at least an open mind, if not quite eagerness. The eagerness had not been long in coming, though, as their relationship reaffirmed what she had known and not really thought about for years: that Chouji was by far the sweetest guy she knew, and could easily give her the strong, steady bond and happiness that she had come to crave.

Smiling fondly, she crossed the room just as Chouji was putting down the sanding block and rising. Snaking her arms around his wide waist, she leaned into the soft, comfortingly large presence of his back and hugged him tightly.

"We should finish up for today," she said.

"Mm." He turned in her arms and returned the embrace gently. "Shall I walk you home, Ino?"

"That would be nice. Shall we go for barbecue, or for sushi?"

"Mmm…let's give sushi a try tonight. I hear there's a new place that opened up on the other side of town." Chouji said, kissing her lightly before pulling on his shirt and taking her hand.

They walked out of the building together and Ino smiled, curling her fingers around Chouji's larger ones.

_Yeah…he's fine just the way he is._

* * *

AN: Because Chouji is _awesome_. ;D Which pairing should be next: Asuma/Kurenai or Jiraiya/Tsunade?  
And no, the pairings themselves are not open to negotiation. Sorry. :) 


	6. Tsunade and Jiraiya!

**Too Sexy for a Shirt – 6  
**By: Clever Audrey  
Disclaimer: None of the characters portrayed herein belong to me, and I am not making money.  
Warnings: Umm, a little language, implied nekkidness. ;)  
AN: Okay, I know this doesn't quite fit with the canon timeline, as Tsunade was in Konoha when Jiraiya and Naruto came back from training, but we can ignore that. Also, Tsunade might be a touch OOC, but I'm not sure. I haven't really written her before, so I hope I did her justice. :)

* * *

Tsunade sank deeper into the steaming water of the hot spring, and sighed with pleasure.

This was her first vacation in years…her first since becoming the Godaime Hokage of Konoha, in point of fact. Things had slowed down recently, and Shizune and the elders had agreed that she could probably afford to take a few days' vacation, so long as they could get in contact with her quickly in case of an emergency. So, Tsunade had taken TonTon and set out for the hot spring town she remembered stopping at on the way into Konoha several years before.

And thus she was now sunk up to her chin in the delightfully hot water of the deserted onsen. It was an off-time of the year for travelers, and late enough that most people had already headed off to bed. She stretched languidly and settled down again. _I needed this…._

"Ero-sennin! Why do we have to stop here?"

The brash, familiar voice, deeper than she remembered but unmistakable nevertheless, jerked Tsunade out of a light doze.

"Naruto, be quiet. Don't you want to relax for a bit? This is the perfect place to treat ourselves." Jiraiya couldn't quite keep the anticipatory undertone out of his voice even as he tried to convince his protesting student.

"I want to get back to Konoha," grumbled Naruto, quieter this time. "You just want to stop here because the onsen is co-ed, Ero-sennin."

"Hee hee," Jiraiya chuckled, not bothering to contradict the obvious. "Lots of beautiful young girls…."

_Shit!_ Tsunade abruptly realized that the two would be coming into the same hot spring she was. _Damn Jiraiya for interrupting my relaxation…I can't stay here!_ Quietly, she slipped out of the water, with a low sigh of regret and frustration. She was heading for the building and her towel, when she realized that it was too late – her unwanted guests were nearly at the door.

With more silent cursing, she looked around and then moved to the tiny, secluded grove in the back corner of the area. The stone bench was cold after the water of the spring, and she swore to give Jiraiya some really nasty mission as payback for this next time she got the chance. _Now I have to sit here 'til they're gone! I'll send him somewhere where there aren't any pretty girls at all… _she continued with her musings as to where this might be when there was a splash, and Naruto surfaced with a delighted yell. Apparently the sight of an empty pool had made him happier about the whole idea, while Jiraiya was scolding him for "playing around" and clearly sulking.

Watching through a hole in the leaves of the bush she was hiding behind, Tsunade watched as Naruto grinned evilly and splashed water at the Toad Sannin, teasing him mercilessly. _He's grown up well, _she thought fondly, letting her big-sister smile cross her face. His blue eyes were just as bright as ever, more confident even, if that were possible, and her necklace glittered around his neck. _He'll be a good man._

Then she turned her eyes to her former teammate. Jiraiya was lounging back against the rocks, his arms draped over the sides, still pouting over the lack of "beautiful young girls." Tsunade couldn't help letting her gaze drift appreciatively over his chest. For a man over fifty, he really was in quite good shape…one of the benefits of being a ninja, assuming you lived that long. Tsunade cut her musings short and looked away. This was _Jiraiya_, after all….

But when her gaze had drifted back to his bare chest, slightly flushed now from the steam and glistening with sweat and water, for the fifth time in as many minutes, she gave up. _Oh hell. Why not appreciate it? It's not as though I've got anything better to do._

Surprisingly enough, Naruto didn't stay too much longer. Yawning and complaining of any empty stomach, he soon waved a lazy good-bye to his mentor and disappeared back inside the building. Jiraiya sighed in exaggerated relief as his not-quite-as-noisy-as-he-used-to-be student took himself off.

Tsunade, watching, was ready to throw something at the older man, who was looking settled enough to stay put for several hours yet. _Just go, you big lump!_ She thought at him.

"You can come out now, Tsunade," Jiraiya said calmly, his eyes still closed and amusement tingeing his voice.

Tsunade swore, but was not too reluctant to get up off the cold bench, since her legs had begun to cramp. "No peeking, you old pervert," she cautioned, and slipped back into the water.

Jiraiya chuckled, but kept his eyes closed until she was settled. "You really shouldn't be so hypocritical, Tsunade," he pointed out, grinning at her.

Tsunade, much to her embarrassment, flushed at the accusation. "Well, it's not like I had anything better to do-"

"And do you have anything better to do now?" Jiraiya asked pointedly, his tone clearly an offer. Tsunade looked him up and down again reflexively.

"Well…" she hedged, looking up at the stars beginning to show even through the steam rising from the spring. It had been a _very_ long time, really, and as long as he wasn't making any demands….

"You know you can trust me, Tsunade." His voice was calm and steady, the one tone she knew from long experience meant that he was being completely serious for once.

It didn't take any more persuasion. She let an appreciative grin wide enough to rival his own curl her lips as she slid over to sit next to him and looped her arms around his neck. "No, I guess I don't have anything better to do after all."

* * *

AN: Okay, not too sure about the ending, but I think it works. :) Asuma/Kurenai next, and then a couple slightly more unorthodox ones that I think you'll enjoy. Wow, 50 reviews! Thank you! Think we can make it to 100 by the time I finish these? ;) 


	7. Kurenai and Asuma!

**Too Sexy for a Shirt – 7  
**By: Clever Audrey  
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it, nor am I making money off of it.  
Warnings: mild innuendo  
AN: At last! I've been busy, so please pardon the late update.

* * *

"What the- !" Asuma started, and tore off his jounin vest as fast as he could, tossing it violently against a nearby tree.

Kurenai refrained from chuckling and darted at her distracted sparring partner quickly. Well, if she'd thought her vest had been one of those huge, nasty leeches from the Forest of Death, she'd have tossed it away quickly too. As it was, she was just glad that her little illusion had worked.

_It makes the rest of my plan easier,_ she thought, ducking carefully under a neat swipe from one of Asuma's chakra-lengthened knuckle blades. _Now I just have to get close enough to finish it!_

The two of them had been dancing around the edges of a relationship for several years now. She liked him, he liked her…but between the demands of training genin teams, harder missions in between those, and the reluctance to get close to someone you might lose inherent in all shinobi relationships, they'd just never gotten any further than that.

At least, until now…she hoped.

_I'm tired of dancing around this. I haven't had a decent date in two years, and haven't had more than a date in…I can't remember. Much too long._ Hence, her plan to get her reluctant friend out of his shirt during this particular sparring match…and hopefully out of his inhibitions as well.

Kurenai held back a grin, and set up another illusion that made Asuma freeze, just for a second, to try and dispel it.

Fortunately, a second was all she needed.

She darted behind him, grabbed the back of his shirt out of his pants and slit it neatly up the middle with her kunai. Two flips back and she was safely out of range of the double-cut he aimed at her as he spun, and there she paused, letting herself grin at his puzzled expression.

Keeping an eye on her, Asuma paused long enough to slip off his torn shirt, as it would now get hang down his arms and hinder movement. Even when he was back in a ready position, though, Kurenai still didn't make any move to attack him, just took in the (as she had suspected) quite lovely view of his well-muscled chest.

"Are we done?" Asuma asked, still puzzled, after a moment of silence.

"With the spar, I think so," Kurenai rose from her crouch and sauntered forward, sheathing her kunai. Asuma lowered his blades too, then dropped them in surprise as she ran her hands up his bare chest to rest on his shoulders. "With other things, however," she went on invitingly, "I think it's time we got started."

He went from surprised, to uncertain, to thoughtful, to grinning in about two seconds, then raised his hands to her waist. "Maybe you're right."

Some time later, Kurenai sighed regretfully. "We should probably get back."

"Mmm," Asuma rubbed her cheek with his chin, his beard pleasantly rough and ticklish. Rising from where they had stretched out under a tree, he retrieved his vest and put that on. "Did you really have to cut my shirt, though?"

Kurenai grinned and winked at him. "Well, subtle hasn't been working so well, so I figured it was time to be more direct."

"Well, I must admit I'm glad you did," he offered an arm, and they strolled back towards town in a companionable silence.

Kurenai mused that she must be spending too much time around Anko – she'd been rather shy around men just a few years ago. Then again, she mused, glancing up fondly at her partner, a little boldness wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Later that night, after dinner and other, even more pleasantly-tiring occupations than sparring, she revised that thought. _Nope, a little boldness isn't a bad thing **at all.**_

* * *

AN: Well, there you go. Haven't ever written these two before, but there's hinting at something between them in canon, so I think this works. :) Next, something different: Rin has to take care of the men on her genin team - Kakashi, Obito and Yondaime! ;P 


	8. Rin with Kakashi, Obito and Yondaime!

**Too Sexy for a Shirt – 8  
**By: Clever Audrey  
Disclaimer: Do not own, in any way shape or form. Though I do have a very shiny poster of Yondaime that is MINE, ALL MINE! ahem Anyway... O.o  
Pairings: None  
Warnings: Nada  
AN: Moving back into college eats up my life. Sorry about the delay. Slightly unusual one this time, but hopefully you will all appreciate. ;)

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Rin sighed. How on earth had she ended up with three of the most tiresome men in the village as the rest of her team? Of course, she'd come to expect this sort of thing from Obito, he was always getting himself into scrapes, and even Arashi-sensei had a way of finding trouble…but honestly, she'd expected better from Kakashi, at least!

_If he's going to summon up his dogs to track something down, wouldn't it be more intelligent to actually let them do their job, instead of crawling through the three-inch-long thorns themselves? _She shook her head at them and pulled out her best You've-done-something-very-stupid-and-made-more-work-for-your-medic-nin look. That got her a slightly glum stare from her masked teammate, and sheepish smiles from her teacher and Obito.

"What on earth possessed you three? Honestly!"

"Sorry, Rin!" Obito gave her another sheepish smile.

"Yes, it wasn't a very good idea," Arashi-sensei said, scratching the back of his head, then wincing at the movement. "How about we buy you dinner when we get back to Konoha?"

She sighed again, fondly this time, and spun her finger in a circle. "Turn around. And get those shirts off! If I can't get to the cuts then I can't heal them!"

Kakashi raised his head at this, and she made a face at him. "No, Kakashi, you don't have to take the mask off. Men!"

With that, they all scooted around, tugging off their much-abused shirts to bare much-abused backs.

Much-abused backs…that were very well-built (underneath the bloody scratches – she hadn't known thorns that long existed!). _Now, you have to focus!_ She chided herself, and set about cleaning and healing her teammates' injuries.

Fifteen minutes later she stepped back to admire her handiwork. Not even any new scars for them! And it was such a lovely view…hmm….

Keeping her face carefully blank, she gave their backs one last check. "All right. Now stand up and turn around. I'd best make sure you didn't crawl over anything nasty while I'm at it."

Their chests were fine (oh-so-fine!), and after a good, medical "inspection" she let them put their shirts back on. Arashi-sensei eyed her with amused wariness for a moment, but made no comment, for which she was grateful. Just because she wasn't romantically interested in any of her teammates didn't mean she couldn't appreciate them!

All in all, the annoyance had turned out worthwhile after all, so she smiled, then informed Arashi-sensei sweetly that she'd take them up on that offer of dinner.

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AN: I am going with the current best guess at Yondaime's name, which is Arashi. In Kakashi Gaiden, they call him sensei, but I think they must have used his name sometimes, so we're going with this. :) Up next: The maid who brings the Kazekage his coffee has a rather pleasant surprise one day... ;P 


	9. The Coffee Maid and Gaara!

**Too Sexy for a Shirt – 9  
**By: Clever Audrey  
Disclaimer: Do not own, in any way shape or form. Except for Kaede. Who is far too lucky. XD  
Pairings: None  
Warnings: Nada  
AN: Apologies for such a late update! College takes up a lot of time... --0 Hopefully this shall make up for the delay. :) Enjoy!

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The bell from the Kazekage's office chimed gently above her head, and Kaede looked up from her menu plan.

_Oh my, I guess it is that late. _She set the paper down and hastily went to the stove to start a kettle of water boiling. _I need to pay more attention to the clock._

A few minutes later, having made up a pot of strong black coffee (with freshly ground beans, of course), Kaede put the pot and a mug on a tray and hurried out of the kitchen.

_It's a good thing I've had practice with being a waitress and balancing trays in impossible situations, else I'd never manage this,_ she thought sprinting up flights of stairs with the tray of hot coffee. _Though this job is much, much better than any waitress job I can think of!_

She rounded the corner and slipped into the partly open door of the Kazekage's office, slipping the tray onto one hand so she could knock-

_**Definitely** better than any waitress job…_was the next fully coherent thought to drift through her mind.

Gaara was not wearing a shirt.

Kaede knew that the Kazekage liked to go out and wander the city after his late-evening coffee. She knew even that he liked to change out of his official robes and put on something a bit more casual to do it.

She just didn't usually catch him in the process of changing.

_Damn, he's well-built…not overly so, but just enough to notice…_ She managed to get her mouth closed and her eyes back to their normal size just before he shrugged on his long, red coat and turned around.

"Pardon me, Kazekage-sama, but here is your coffee."

Gaara nodded, not quite smiling at her, but giving her the calm look she had come to realize was his version of approval.

_After being his cook and maid for three years…well, it's nice to think that I know him a little better._ Kaede came into the office to put the tray down on the red head's desk, just as outwardly calm as he was. _And apparently I get the occasional bonus of seeing him without a shirt. That was **nice**…._

The slight smirk now gracing her Kage's face indicated that perhaps her thoughts were showing a little too much. Hastily Kaede bowed to hide her blush, though he didn't seem to be terribly upset about it.

"Thank you, Kaede, I think that will be all I need for tonight. Get some sleep," Gaara said quietly when she straightened. Kaede nodded, gave him a smile, and left.

_I wish I could tell him to get some sleep, but that won't do any good. At least I can bring him good coffee and help him in other ways._ She smiled to herself. _I know he can be a bit scary at times…but he does such a good job protecting us all!_

She went back to the kitchen and finished cleaning, then locked up and headed for her apartment down the quiet, peaceful street.

_Yes, he takes very good care of us. _She couldn't help a happy sigh and smirk. _And the fact that he's so hot just makes it that much better! _

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AN: So, yes, now you have shirtless!Gaara. And Kazekage Gaara, no less. ;P  
Last one, coming up! Crack pairing! Orochimaru's on a blind date with...? Guess you'll have to read and find out, ne:D 


	10. Orochimaru and ?

**Too Sexy For a Shirt – 10**  
By: Clever Audrey  
Disclaimer: Do not own, in any way shape or form.  
Pairings: Orochimaru x ?  
Warnings: Complete crack. Orochimaru. Greek mythology that I haven't read for a really long time.  
AN:I have no excuse for either the lateness of this update, nor for the pairing. :) Enjoy!

* * *

She sighed and pulled her hood lower over her head, glancing around at the busy coffee shop for the fiftieth time. She hated blind dates, really. They had never turned out well – not _once_ – and her sisters _knew_ that, so why they kept on trying, she really didn't know….

Still, in spite of its business, it was a nice coffee. Lots of little nooks and corners like the one she was currently sitting in; low lighting in some areas, brighter lighting in others, and a charmingly eclectic mix of furniture styles for the various tables and chairs scattered about the room. The nook she had chosen was dimly lit (though not so much that it was hard to see) and had a small table and two low-backed chairs in a more classical style. It was a relaxing place to sit and surreptitiously watch the other patrons of the coffee shop while she waited for her date to show up.

_Assuming he **does** show up,_ she thought sourly, watching a dark-haired man in a blue military uniform seat himself at one of the tables in the middle of the room, sipping his steaming coffee with a look of bliss and mostly ignoring the short, loud blond man in the red coat who was with him.

At the counter, a man with long red hair and a katana through his belt discussed what to order with his companion, a dark-haired woman in a pretty kimono. There was what appeared to be a transvestite in the corner, nursing a mug of something and protectively watching over a large, heavy-looking suitcase.

The bells over the door chimed, and she looked eagerly to see if it was her date. She withdrew with slight disappointment when it wasn't, but continued to watch the two men who came in, one in a full tuxedo, complete with top hat and a white mask, and a very effeminate-looking blond.

People-watching was not an activity that she had ever really been able to indulge in, so she was surprised to find how much it relieved her boredom and anxiety.

_This is certainly an interesting place…I might have to come here again, even if this date doesn't work out-_

Just then, a tall, male figure stepped in front of the alcove and blocked her line of sight. Startled, she moved back a little bit, then realized that this must be her date.

"I must apologize for my lateness," he said in a sibilant, husky voice.

"It's quite all right," she returned, just as politely, carefully keeping her face well under the hood and her eyes averted from his face as she rose. "I'm afraid I never did get your name…."

"Orochimaru," came his reply, along with an outstretched hand. Hesitant, she accepted the invitation, and was pleasantly surprised when he bowed over her hand. "Have you ordered anything yet…?"

"No, not yet," she knew it wasn't fair to keep her name back when he had given his, but it was all too likely that he would leave if he knew who she actually was. "Shall we?"

"Certainly." Still that lovely, sibilant quality in his voice. She desperately wanted to see what this man looked like! He was tall, she could tell, and thin. He wore sandals on his feet, and a long vest of pale yellow over dark pants and a silver-grey shirt. His hands were pale-skinned, and the ends of dark hair entered her line of vision where they fell over his shoulders and chest.

Falling a pace or two behind him as they made their way to the counter, she risked a quick glance up at the back of his head, her eyes meeting with a curtain of long, straight black hair. She sighed.

They gave their orders to the sour-looking waitress, then returned to the alcove she had picked out before, still not speaking.

"You have not given me your name, yet," he pointed out softly after a few moments had gone by.

She almost glanced up at him, but caught herself at the last moment, and nervously shrank further under her hood. _Well, it's now or never,_ she thought, and replied quietly, "Medusa." The snakes coiled silent around her head let out soft whisper-hisses before stilling again at her silent behest.

"Medusa," Orochimaru repeated quietly, his voice snake-like itself. "It is a pretty name."

"Thank you," she was surprised. Either he truly did not know who she was, or did not care.

"Now that we have introductions out of the way, perhaps you would remove the cloak? You must be warm."

_Sly bastard,_ she thought grimly, then almost chuckled. _Well, he asked for it! Though I wish it didn't always have to end like this…. _Slowly, she straightened, closing her eyes as she pushed off the hood, feeling the snakes uncoil gratefully.

Then, she opened her eyes.

To meet a pair of snake-pupiled, golden eyes that widened for a moment in surprise, then narrowed again in admiration...

…and did nothing that even remotely resembled turning into stone.

She was still gaping as he reached out a hand towards her, and smiled slightly when the snakes flicked their tongues at it then began curling around his wrist in approval.

"You- You shouldn't- I can't-"

"You are referring to the spell of your eyes, I presume?" He nodded knowingly and with no small dose of self-satisfaction. "There are ways of guarding against that sort of thing. I was…intrigued, when my acquaintance informed me of this opportunity, but decided that some precautions were best taken first. Having myself turned into a statue, while it would undoubtedly have been an interesting experience, would have made both this date and other things impossible."

"You- You found a way to counter the freezing spell?" Medusa asked, finally blinking and unconsciously leaning toward his hand, about which more and more of her snakes were attempting to twine themselves.

"Collecting all of the worlds spells has been a goal of mine for many years. It is nice to know that my efforts are proving fruitful." He smiled at her again, a very-snake-like smile that made her smile back. He was quite nice to look at indeed….

At that moment, the waitress appeared at their table with a very full tray balanced precariously on one hand…and managed to spill a hot mug of tea neatly over Orochimaru's shoulder and down the front of his shirt.

He hissed in pain and withdrew his hand quickly, rising and tearing off the vest and shirt. Medusa waved away the ineffectually and not-very-sincerely apologizing waitress and offered a corner of her cloak for the man to dry himself off with.

The now-shirtless man.

_I must say, I've seen more nice things today than I've seen in **centuries**, _she thought, not so surreptitiously admiring the new view. Orochimaru caught her gaze as he finished drying his pale-skinned but nicely muscled chest, and raised a thoughtful eyebrow at her.

It quickly turned into a suggestive smirk.

"Perhaps we could adjourn to a more…private setting?" He suggested smoothly, grimacing at his ruined clothes, but shaking out the vest and pulling it back on.

"I think that's an excellent idea," Medusa said, and the snakes hissed their agreement. Smirking in return, she pulled her cloak back on before accepting his hand and letting him lead the way amongst the crowded tables to the door.

A good day, indeed!

* * *

AN: And thus, it ends! I suppose this one requires a bit of explanation - I have absolutely no excuse for this pairing, except for the fact that I've seen a couple chibi fancomics of it that were far too cute for their own good. XD Other than that...no excuse.  
As for the coffee shop...you'll be seeing more from us about the coffee shop eventually, I think, so watch our profile page if you're interested. Can anyone name all the other characters who were there? ;p 

Thanks for reading!


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